In the last two weeks I’ve watched several friends’ years-long relationships fall apart, the US government shoot itself in the foot (again), the Irish government shoot itself in the foot, the US military shoot everyone in the foot… I’ve also been questioning my stamina to keep at it in the publishing world. I guess that was a little obvious in my last post, too, which blows since writing is pretty much been a lifetime identity. I really didn’t sign on to moan, but my point is, it’s tough times. I’m no master of astrology, but there’s some jacked up shit afoot. Not only are we in the midst of some heavy shifting under Chiron–the wounded healer who puts total focus on your deepest soul wounds that are seeking light, but in early 2011 we also are moving into Mercury Retrograde–the time NOT to finalize contracts, for those of you wandering, and the square of Uranus in Aries to Pluto in Capricorn–an aspect that hasn’t happened since the 60s.
Let me say that again: an astrological aspect that hasn’t happened since the 60s, the era of the upheaval of all. So if TSAs, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, a gajillion unemployed people approaching the holidays, and almost every Euro-toting country except Germany going bankrupt aren’t indicators to get your personal ducks in a row, I don’t know what is. A really wise woman told me some time back, ‘what you know needs changing and don’t the Universe will, with a crowbar.” That’s now.
My holiday wish for everyone is that we stay ahead of the game, keep our hearts open, and that we have really linear ducks.
Indeed. I can’t say that I am very astute with astrology, but clearly conflict is afoot in profound ways.
I take your words to heart, and heartily hope you will keep writing them.
Ha! You write more eloquently than I do, In’am.
I hope you are well. I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how you are.
How very kind of you to say. I am well and now smiling.
Wow. I was going to erase that, but you were too fast. LOL
*blush*
It’s nice to blush sometimes. I’m certain it’s flattering on you.
You sure are cheery this afternoon! I expect that looks dashing on you. Ha. I really am losing my edge on being original.
Yeah! What you said!
I admit, it’s uncharacteristic of me. Yes, I’m cheerful. It’s nice to read your words. They are a bright spot.
Glad to know it. What other reason is there to write, if not to cheer others. And for my brain not to melt out.
Are you working on that uncharacteristic part?
I’ve put a lot of thought into it. That is to say, yes I have been.
This is a very intriguing medium to communicate in, commenting. I write in English here more than any place else in my life.
I’m lazy. I can’t imagine emersing myself in another language for primary communication. I respect that. And I’m flattered you exercise it so well here. Or I’m a sadist. Either way, I appreciate the dialogue.
I’m glad you are feeling better. I am too, though I don’t really know why. Mine is not to question.
It is amazing the skills one masters when livelihood depends on it.
Indeed, not to question. In all honesty, my feelings have improved steadily since that night at the meeting. It seems to have been some sort of catalyst for me.
Along that line, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you. Why did you leave that night? Was it the pairing off thing, or was it something else?
I left because I did not expect to be paired off, that is correct. More than that, I did not know how to respond to being paired with someone I didn’t feel could relate to me, culturally. I did not think that such a modern soul as yourself could identify with a Sunni Muslim man, as myself. It was a very selfish and dismissive state of mind. I hope you will forgive me and find humility in my frankness.
Wow. Yeah, I can see why you might sit on that for a bit. In all seriousness, though, there’s nothing to forgive. I went with much the same selfish thoughts. They weren’t about culture, just that clichéd, “No one can possibly understand my pain,” bullshit. Can I say bullshit? I feel self-conscious now. I was equally as egocentric and biased.
Anyway, you don’t owe me an apology.
Of course I do. Fierce, had I not found your blog I would never have realized just how selfish I was being. It never occurred to me that my leaving affected you, until I read your entry about going to the group. It is true that I felt guilty enough to search for you online, but had you not specifically noted your thoughts about the group and your feelings about me leaving, I wouldn’t have contacted you. I’m not that humble.
Wow. I say that a lot, don’t I?
I’m choosing not to personalize this, although I can’t help but think if you knew me better, we wouldn’t be interacting right now. And I don’t say that as a judgement on you, but from my own insecurity.
I have the utmost respect for you, and I appreciate your honesty. Truly, Fierce, I’m grateful that we met.