I want to open a dialogue on the mind of many, and all over the lips of some.
Orgasm is one topic I think the wonderful world of literary erotica handles well. Why? Because in most written pursuits of pleasure, it’s not the total emphasis of sexual engagement.
Let me back up a sec. Not that our ultra cool community is insensitive to climax; rather, the ends justify the means. We’re more concerned with how we get there, because ultimately we know, we will get there. And if we don’t, well, we can take care of that ourselves, can’t we?
But that’s not the case for media coverage of come. In fact, there’s pressure galore not just that we gaz, but to come the right way, and produce the optimal off for lover(s). Men are pressured to edge, not to shoot to soon, all the while producing exquisite pleasure for lovers. Women are pressured to come at all costs, and now they have to squirt, too.
Which by the way, according to Oprah’s resident cooch doc, Dr. Laura all orgasming women squirt, it’s a master of whether they squirt up into their bladder, of out the urethra. And the best How-to video ever.
On a drier note, what drives the cultural fascination with upgrading orgasm? I understand the drive for better, more powerful, mind blowinger. What I don’t understand is the judgement that comes along with how it happens, if it happens, when it happens, why it happens, and the fact that we set cultural standards for it at all.
What say ye on this one, lads and lasses? How does stigma affect how you write about orgasm? How do you think it shapes the way erotica is received by readers? Culturally?
And yes, it’s a real place. A free ebook of your back catalogue choice to the first three commenters who can tell me where, without cheating! Sluts honor!
5 thoughts on “Much Ado about the Big O”
It’s in Michigan. We pass it every time we’re on our way to visit our son, who went to college in Flint, and now lives in Northville, near Plymouth. The kids just roll their eyes when I make loud noises each time we pass the sign, then I ask my husband, “was it good for you too?” They usually try to have their earbuds in so they don’t have to hear what Mom thinks she sounds like when she’s having fun!
I don’t let public opinion shape how I write my sex scenes. I let the characters “tell” me how they enjoy each other and how often. So some books are steamier than others based on who the leads are. I think EVERY orgasm is a good thing, whether it’s self-induced, during sleep, or enjoyed at leisure. It’s ALL good!
And when the men in my life brag about how being a man is superior because they can more easily pee in the woods when we go camping, I tell them I have 2 words in response: “Multiple orgasms!” Love that tiny organ that only women have…the only part of the body designed JUST to give pleasure! Long live and love the clit!
Interesting question. I never really thought about it, but I guess that this pressure about the “Big O” did influence my writing slightly. I agree that there is enormous pressure on both men and women about this, and that it causes much angst. This filtered through to my writing in two ways.
One was to have one character reflect on the pressure men feel to “perform” for women. While this can be a good thing if it inspires men to want to please women, it can go to far.
The other way relates to how my story is basically a description of a “perfect” encounter. One way that encounter was perfect was not because it led to fantastic orgasms (which it did!) but because the characters were more interested in what led to the orgasm than in achieving that result. Which, in the backward way this usually happens, was what led to that result!
As for the location, despite what Fiona says, I thought this was in North Carolina, near me. I go there all the time.
Perhaps there are, appropriately, multiple locations!
I have a few stories I’m working on in which it doesn’t happen for a character. It might take you out of the fantasy a bit but how they deal with it takes it to the next level.
That’s an interesting approach. I like stories that take a different tack.
Climax North Carolina. I enjoy my I guess average orgasms just fine, they do the job. 😉